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SIS LINGO QiaoEr Lao Da =yinyuan= HUICHI JASMINE SARAH VINCENT MARCUS WEIYI 'BF' Mariam Jing Sheng Joey RABIA Blythe.SuEe LEESA senior meifen ZHANG ZIYI Archives
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Monday, December 31, 2012
I know 31st December is just another ordinary day to another year. So i actually decide to sleep early tonight to prepare for tomorrow morning shift. Forgetting there's actually countdown and all that, making my plan of sleeping early sound really boring. At anyway, i went to sleep at 7 and woke up at 9 plus. Already feeling gloomy to stay at home for the whole day doing nothing, but definitely not in that bad mood. But when i saw that post of hers, just put me down and into a depressed mood. It just don't feel good when you had do all you can for someone yet at the end of the day, you're nothing. True enough, we always do things without thinking another party will give any thing return. But with another party totally not appreciative about it really, the feeling is just... Just like if i were to die quietly, no one will know. So... New year resolution, treat myself better? As if that's going to happen. I want to be a nicer daughter, better colleague and truthful friend.
Monday, December 31, 2012
Sunday, December 30, 2012
Out of boredom, i start browsing through the photos on FB taken a couple of years back.
Someone significantly stands out.
I don't always think that i'm right.
For this instance, to you, i'm truthfully sorry.
Really sorry for neglecting you, your care and all.
Should i realise all these earlier, things may be different.
And to another you, thank you for that cup of hot water when i'm feeling cold.
To have both of you, i'm counted fortunate.
Sunday, December 30, 2012
Thursday, December 27, 2012
Went to buy some gifts before meeting with Lao Da for dinner. Bought as what i planned earlier, but the outcome doesn't seem as what i think. As in, can be better with the choice. Hai~ Always seem to buy the wrong things. Even those bought back from Korea.. =( Eotteohge!!!
Thursday, December 27, 2012
Wednesday, December 26, 2012
[Post deleted because i still love her a lot] And i think it's time for me to stop having low self-esteem, no confident and belittling myself. Treat myself better and take the credits for what i had done.
Wednesday, December 26, 2012
Saturday, December 22, 2012
About a week after i'm back from Korea, didn't expect Singapore's weather to be so cooling!
Almost freezing [in 1 layer of clothes] in Singapore too!! I won't be surprised if one day Singapore has 4 seasons.
Korea trip was fine, should say much better than Taiwan trip in terms of 'peacefulness'. Manage to eat and get the things i need, but not those i want :(
However gotten all the gift requested included some small surprises, glad that the receivers appreciated and like them.
Ward total had been REALLY LOW!
We do have low total like 5-6 patients before, but the number will slowly increase by next shift. But it's already 5 days that we have 3-5 patients! The good thing is we can sit around, enjoy the air con. But the bad things are; 1) Deployed to other wards, 2) Time crawl passed, 3) Being bullied and make used by other wards and 4) More time for me to think ... so more negative thoughts when i start thinking. I really do appreciate the chance of resting, but not when i'm deployed to other wards.
And talking about negative thoughts. Someone seems to enjoy playing 'hide-and-seek' with me. If you want to hide, don't appear again.
Had a weird dream yesterday; this kind person was angry with me for accidentally putting my shovel on her plants. Even starred at me. That expression actually woke me up from my dream.
Felt something wrong so i went to clarify with her if i did anything wrong or say anything that irritates her. Though i know it's kind of impossible since we haven't meet each other for a long time.
Of course her answer is 'no!' ... But in return, she asked me a question and asked for my opinion. She told me her worries and how she felt. I can only tell her that it's not fair for the opposite party if i were to give any judgement. Want her to decide for herself.
She's a really nice girl with almost perfect personalities, so only the best suited her.
Had always been thinking, girls usually will think if they are good enough for the other party. Does the guys ever come across with this question or their ego tell them that they are good enough to take care of her? Do they only think of getting what they want /like and not spare a thought of her?
Saturday, December 22, 2012
Friday, December 07, 2012
Had so many things to tweet so i decide to sum up all and blog it so i don't flood the twitter.
06/12/12
1400hrs: Hope everything is alright and go by plan.
1828hrs: God please.. We beg you, let us go.
2357hrs: Really? I really have you?
07/12/12
0051hrs: The nicer you're to someone, the easier it is for the same individual to hurt you. But because you cared too much, you always 'forget' the hurt and continue caring.
0055hrs: The ironic feeling of saying 'it's ok', 'it doesn't matter'. It seems like i had always been saying these.
0640hrs: Nothing goes well. I can't blame you for the unforeseen, but i blame you for doing nothing to help aftermath.
0643hrs: If there's no changes, lets UNPACK!
0647hrs: I got no mood to work.
0911hrs: It will be nice if people stop reminding me about the Korea trip - cause i can't go anymore!
1709hrs: Don't take my kindness as me trying to test/ check things out! - That's an insult to me! I'm here thinking of the possibilities and trying to make things better when you feeling lost. Yet you think i'm trying I'm trying to go and check things out?!
1717hrs: How i wish i can go to your house and do what you can't do! No point just watching and hoping!
1720hrs: I'm seriously not going to care anymore! Concert, hotel and trip.. Changing and changing of the november's leave. I had been going with your plans and yet i got all these.
1722hrs: Disappointment is all what i'm feeling.
Friday, December 07, 2012
Thursday, December 06, 2012
2012 is just not my year seriously!
1) Not very happy Taiwan trip, wasted the money.
2) Wasted large sum of money on facial.
3) SM town was not so much of happiness, though i do get to see my bias. [So there's a deduction]
4) May not be going Korea anymore, which means another sum of money wasted. Though at the end of the day i still hope the 'underlying cause' is ok.
Gosh... Anything got to do with large sum of money will not end up well. Maybe i haven't spent enough money on others. God is punishing me for being too selfish.
Okok.. Stop grumbling and think positive.
1) At least i flew there and come back safely. Not the whole trip was unpleasant.
2) If not because of that, i won't remember i should save.
3) I saw my bias and still felt the 'post-concert' happiness.
4) Erm... I still hope i can go, cause it's the 'underlying cause' that i hope is fine.
Thursday, December 06, 2012
Wednesday, December 05, 2012
Had been thinking/ taking things positive no matter what i'm facing. I think i should just continue with this mindset, i mean afterall it's more healthy mentally. Though it's really upsetting to know my presence got such negative remarks from you, i will still continue with my plans. Like it or not, appreciate it or not, it's not up to me. From things to time to everything... Don't know why but i suddenly feel i'm nothing to you. Probably it's karma, i'll take it in. I'm left with here to talk.
Wednesday, December 05, 2012
Sunday, December 02, 2012
Annyeong! 7 more days to Korea, but it seems like I'm the only one excited for it. Waeyo?? Have the feeling that I will need to take care of my friend and her sister. Hajiman, it looks like i'm falling sick too. I haven't had cough, flu or fever for more than a year or two, but had been coughing for few days with flu kicking in today. Ottoke?! Please let me be ok so i can look after unnies.. Kamsahamidah..
Sunday, December 02, 2012
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Yours Truly
Xanthe Lin Huixian
Leo Female, 22 Staff Nurse Puzzle-lover Potato-lover Finds it difficult to start conversation with a newly-made friend aka stranger. Usual 1st impression by others: "Dao", arrogance, fierce, cool So if you're able to see the other side of me as 1st impression, lucky you! Blogging habit/ choice of words' color: Red[Extremely happy/ excitement] Pink[happy], purple[unhappy], blue/black[Upset] I want I WANT I WANT
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