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Tuesday, August 28, 2012

Hihi..
Days were really bad these few days. Can't really talk to anyone because no one can exactly knows how i feel. And it may just seems like i'm trying to be nice.
Had been working on my aim to be a really nice person, to help people around me as much as i can.
But this time round, it seems that i had overdo it again and become a really bad person.
Never had i thought in a million years that i am actually a third party causing a relationship to be over. Me being the 3rd party!!? I just can't believe it. Only talk about tkd, tkd and TKD. Still wanted to try to help them patch back.
Out of nowhere, i just became a 3rd party. I'm that insensible!! Didn't sense it 2yrs ago because he didn't talk to me. Now that he talks to me, i didn't sense it too. Being naive or stupid that i still treat it as normal friendship, treat him as my son-in-law?!
Only know that she's very upset, not knowing that i'm actually the 3rd party till the day before yesterday! Continuing hurting her by talking to her without knowing that my appearance will only cause irritation, disturbance and only hurt.
Went for 'drive-test' yesterday with all thoughts in my head. Almost got into accident twice, how i hope i can just die on the spot.
How...? Just like her, being upset everyday, for no reason i'm feeling upset and guilty.
It may not be my fault but ya, I shouldn't had even talk to him nor coach him. Didn't even sense anything wrong when the cover photo was change to that. Still can analyse the photo and think that because he's smiling or he thinks he looks cool, and even the color was nice! Thinking now, it really seems ridiculous!
How many times do i have to hurt this daughter of mine?! Daughter? Guess this time round, it's over. Her relationship with him as well as my relationship with her.

Another was Qiao. She doesn't seems to want to talk to me. Not sure if it's because of this incident or i accidentally hurt her.

Now i'm thinking, why the hell do i still want to be a nice person. I'd been going around hurting people without knowing. Must as well just be a bad person. It may suit me more!

Really. What should i do now. Can things just go back to how it suppose to be? God, what are you trying to test me for? Being loyal to friend? I can swear to you that if you give me 100 chances, i wouldn't want to come in between them. So can you just patch them back? Beg you...

Tuesday, August 28, 2012

Yours Truly
Xanthe Lin Huixian
Leo
Female, 22
Staff Nurse
Puzzle-lover
Potato-lover
Finds it difficult to start conversation with a newly-made friend aka stranger.
Usual 1st impression by others: "Dao", arrogance, fierce, cool
So if you're able to see the other side of me as 1st impression, lucky you!
Blogging habit/ choice of words' color: Red[Extremely happy/ excitement]
Pink[happy], purple[unhappy], blue/black[Upset]


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